While this may not seem like a relevant Caleb & Me post, Megan and my recent trip to New York City to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary most certainly is to us. It represented the first multi-day trip away from our son. Caleb stayed with Nonna and Boppa for three days and two nights while Megan and I traipsed throughout New York. My awesome friend Nora lent us her apartment in Grammercy while we were there, which meant that Megan and I more or less walked all over Manhattan taking full advantage of the perfect location of the apartment. (Thank you again Nora — thank you, thank you, thank you!)

Click on the photo below to see more images from our trip.

We made it to Albany, NY in the middle of the night (a very dark and rainy night, with somewhat substandard directions to boot…) on November 9th and decided to wake up and leave the hotel without any dawdling the next morning. Accordingly, we were up just before sunrise, and piled into the car for a bit of exploring before we jumped on the highway for our long drive to Montreal.

Albany, it turns out, is a beautiful city during sunrise. We didn’t spend much time out of the car that morning, but took a slew of photos as we drove around. Click here or on the photo to see them!

Traveling back in time to a month ago (November 9th, to be exact — I’m still making catch-up posts), Caleb, Megan and I found ourselves in the middle of Manhattan (click here, or on the photo to the right for more photos!). We left Connecticut earlier that morning (where we stayed for my grandfather’s funeral the day before…which took place in New York…just bear with me…) and decided to make a pit-stop in Manhattan on our way to Albany, where we would spend the night (yes, Manhattan IS on the way to Albany from south-western Connecticut — you just have to imagine that you are driving in a boomerang, more or less). We have a few friends that work and/or live in the city and thought it would be nice to try see them, especially given how rarely we have an opportunity to make it out with Caleb.

We arrived around 11am and had decided somewhere along the 95 that we would make the Natural History Museum our home base. We figured that there would be parking there, and if we couldn’t arrange to see any of our friends, we could always have a blast at the museum. We ended up finding a random parking spot on the street a block and a half away from the museum but ended up spending only five or so minutes in the area. In short, it was quite busy, and we managed to connect with our friends Nora and Amy, and wanted to prioritize spending time with them.

Nora works near Rockefeller Center, so we zig-zagged through Central Park and made a pit stop in a diner before meeting up with her. (As an aside, salad, a tuna sandwich, a grilled cheese sandwich, and an orange juice set us back over $60…cheap, Manhattan is not.) On full stomachs, we met Nora for coffee and hot chocolates and had a great time catching up. We parted ways and took the subway to SOHO where our friend Amy works (no, not a single person offered Caleb and me their seat despite the fact that I had to dig my fingernails into the wall to keep from falling over while holding him) and had a great time hanging out with her in the photography studio she manages. A long subway ride back uptown to our car and we found ourselves stuck in traffic for a few hours trying to leave Manhattan during rush hour on a Friday. Sweet.

It was a great afternoon and we are very happy to have had the chance to spend it with Nora and Amy!

I mentioned this briefly before, but will repeat it for posterity: my grandfather, Caleb’s only living great grandparent on my side of the family, passed away a few weeks ago, on November 6. We had only just recently reconnected after an embarrassingly long time since my last visit with him. Regardless, I feel blessed to have suddenly felt the urge to visit him a few months ago, despite having not seen him for many years, and hope that Caleb retains the few but happy memories he was able to form in the few hours we spent at his great grandfather’s side.

I am sure Caleb will remember a few things about the two times he met his great grandfather though I hope he remembers most how attentive my grandfather seemed when Caleb, Megan and I sang a few songs to him. We, of course, sang Caleb’s favorites such as ABCs, Twinkle-Twinkle, and Baa-Baa Black Sheep, so that he could sing along as well. It is hard to say how much my grandfather enjoyed the songs as he had lacked the ability to communicate or control most of his motor functions for many years prior to our visit, and seemed almost completely unresponsive when we were there, but it was clear that he was mustering every piece of energy he had to keep his eyes on us. …and I do believe I saw a bit of a twinkle.

I’ll never forget when we suggested that we take him outside in his wheel chair so he could feel some of the late autumn sunlight on his skin, and Caleb looked up at him with all sincerity and innocence and gently asked, “Do you want to go outside Great Grandpa?” You are such a sweet and compassionate person, Caleb. I love you dearly and know that you made my grandfather’s heart melt when you asked him that question.

The second of Caleb’s visits came a few weeks ago for the funeral, which was held in Hawthorne, NY two days after my grandfather’s death. There was a short viewing and then a respectful service and ceremony. I brought Caleb up to the casket once when we first arrived at the viewing, after explaining a few times on the car ride over that we would be visiting Great Grandpa, who would be sleeping. Caleb seemed to sense the weight of the moment as soon as we made our way up to the open casket, but didn’t appear to be disturbed or otherwise negatively impacted in any way. I found that tears didn’t come to me the first time I was by my grandfather’s side, which probably helped Caleb manage the experience as well.

The second time I brought him up was as the close family was paying their last respects. I was about to go up, having just followed my father, when I turned back and saw that Megan and Caleb were back in the room (they had taken a break). I was getting pretty emotional and decided that I had to give Caleb another opportunity to be with his Great Grandfather, if only for one more second. Also, I couldn’t think of anything more comforting in that moment than having my son in my arms, holding him as close and lovingly as I could.

This time, instead of reinforcing that Great Grandpa was sleeping, I told Caleb that he should say goodbye. Caleb whispered, “Goodbye Great Grandpa,” I touched my grandfather’s cheek a few times, told him that I loved him, said goodbye, and then held Caleb as close as I could manage as I walked away with tears finally starting to take me over.

I love you and miss you very much Grandpa, and I am so happy that you had a chance to meet your Great Grandson.

Megan took this shot while we were driving to the funeral. It was a quiet, beautiful day.

Megan also took this one. It was taken after the final ceremony ended as we were waiting to go inside a restaurant to have lunch with family. Caleb was sleeping in the back and I was more or less in a hazy state trying to parse everything that I had just experienced.

During our trip to Cape Cod, Caleb and I came across a Korean War memorial and from the depths of my memory, I suddenly remembered that I have a grandfather living somewhere. Rather than unleash a rather unpleasant stream of details, I’ll give you the high-level info. (Click on the photo for a slide show.)

My grandfather (my only living grandparent) has had Alzheimer’s Disease for a very long time. As a result, perhaps, as I was growing up, not only did my family not see him much (we were in California and despite a stint living with my family, he resided mainly on the East Coast) but we didn’t talk about him that much either. In short, little of my life for the past 15-20 years has involved the presence of my grandfather.

(As an aside, this definitely disturbs me. It is astonishing how someone as important as a grandparent can be forgotten over the years.)

After a few days of legwork contacting relatives as well as my parents, I finally found out where my grandfather is located. It turns out he is in a specialized home near White Plains, NY, about an hour from where we had been just weekends before. It took a few minutes to decide whether or not to book a room nearby for later that evening, or starting the next day. I opted for the former and after rounding up Caleb, Megan, and our dog Nadine, we were off to see my grandfather.

At the expense of being too vague, I’ll eliminate the bulk of the details of the trip. Quite frankly, though it might appear that I am comfortable laying out a full set of details about what my family and I experience, there are some things, quite a few perhaps, that are simply too personal to write about. A visit with a dying man I haven’t seen, spoken to, or heard much about since I was an adolescent, certainly falls into that camp.

I will say, however, that as hard as it was, I am very glad we made the trip. Caleb enjoyed meeting his great grandfather, Megan enjoyed meeting him as well, and I think he very much enjoyed having a fresh face stop by for a change.

And yes, we will be back soon.