Megan, Caleb and I ventured up to beautiful Montréal to celebrate our (Megan’s and mine, that is) five year wedding anniversary. We thought it would be a lot of fun to take a driving trip to Canada with Caleb, and heck, we deserved a fun trip for hitting such a milestone, right?

I’ll let the photos tell the story (click here or on the photo to check them out!).

On the left: Daddy’s Backpack. On the right: Caleb’s Backpack. After a lot of searching, I bought the latter earlier this afternoon as my main Christmas gift to Caleb. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that Caleb and I like to roam around Boston, or wherever else we are, having “adventures.” Mention to him that tomorrow is “Daddy Day” and ask him what he wants to do, and he’ll respond emphatically, “Have an adventure!”

Since we always load my red backpack (which he and I picked out together some months ago) with supplies before we head out the door for our adventures, he has built a strong connection to the backpack and having fun with me. If we are having a lazy afternoon, sometimes he’ll drag the backpack over to me and ask if I want to go outside and have an adventure. It is very cute and makes me very happy.

So, when thinking about what gift I could give him for Christmas, I decided it was time to get him his own backpack. I’ve been noodling on the idea for many weeks and tried a woman’s hydration pack on him during our trip to Vermont last month. The pack was the perfect overall size — the base of the pack rested perfectly at his hips, and it was narrow enough overall to appear to distribute weight well. Wanting to get him a functional pack, rather than simply one he’d “play” with, I became determined to find one that would fit and have everything he might want.

The one I settled on is from REI (just like my red one) and is specifically designed for kids. I am sure it is meant for a child a bit older than Caleb, but it is hard to discount that he is tall enough for the pack to fit him perfectly. I tried it on him in the store and loaded it up with a one-pound weight, and then later with a five-pound weight. He handled the latter like a champ, and since he’d probably never have more than a pound or two (some raisins, a few carrot sticks, a toy car, his sunglasses, maybe a sandwich, and possibly a smidgen of water) in the pack until he is bigger, I decided that we had finally found our pack.

As a plus it has a hydration bladder that rests inside the main compartment, though I think we’ll only fill it up with a small amount of water given the amount of weight it added when we tried it out at full capacity tonight.

At any rate, I really like to hem and haw over the gifts I give, even if it means that I don’t get someone something because I haven’t found or devised the right “thing.” I am very happy with the backpack and plan to stuff it with a few other special gifts as well that I know Caleb will appreciate.

I mentioned this briefly before, but will repeat it for posterity: my grandfather, Caleb’s only living great grandparent on my side of the family, passed away a few weeks ago, on November 6. We had only just recently reconnected after an embarrassingly long time since my last visit with him. Regardless, I feel blessed to have suddenly felt the urge to visit him a few months ago, despite having not seen him for many years, and hope that Caleb retains the few but happy memories he was able to form in the few hours we spent at his great grandfather’s side.

I am sure Caleb will remember a few things about the two times he met his great grandfather though I hope he remembers most how attentive my grandfather seemed when Caleb, Megan and I sang a few songs to him. We, of course, sang Caleb’s favorites such as ABCs, Twinkle-Twinkle, and Baa-Baa Black Sheep, so that he could sing along as well. It is hard to say how much my grandfather enjoyed the songs as he had lacked the ability to communicate or control most of his motor functions for many years prior to our visit, and seemed almost completely unresponsive when we were there, but it was clear that he was mustering every piece of energy he had to keep his eyes on us. …and I do believe I saw a bit of a twinkle.

I’ll never forget when we suggested that we take him outside in his wheel chair so he could feel some of the late autumn sunlight on his skin, and Caleb looked up at him with all sincerity and innocence and gently asked, “Do you want to go outside Great Grandpa?” You are such a sweet and compassionate person, Caleb. I love you dearly and know that you made my grandfather’s heart melt when you asked him that question.

The second of Caleb’s visits came a few weeks ago for the funeral, which was held in Hawthorne, NY two days after my grandfather’s death. There was a short viewing and then a respectful service and ceremony. I brought Caleb up to the casket once when we first arrived at the viewing, after explaining a few times on the car ride over that we would be visiting Great Grandpa, who would be sleeping. Caleb seemed to sense the weight of the moment as soon as we made our way up to the open casket, but didn’t appear to be disturbed or otherwise negatively impacted in any way. I found that tears didn’t come to me the first time I was by my grandfather’s side, which probably helped Caleb manage the experience as well.

The second time I brought him up was as the close family was paying their last respects. I was about to go up, having just followed my father, when I turned back and saw that Megan and Caleb were back in the room (they had taken a break). I was getting pretty emotional and decided that I had to give Caleb another opportunity to be with his Great Grandfather, if only for one more second. Also, I couldn’t think of anything more comforting in that moment than having my son in my arms, holding him as close and lovingly as I could.

This time, instead of reinforcing that Great Grandpa was sleeping, I told Caleb that he should say goodbye. Caleb whispered, “Goodbye Great Grandpa,” I touched my grandfather’s cheek a few times, told him that I loved him, said goodbye, and then held Caleb as close as I could manage as I walked away with tears finally starting to take me over.

I love you and miss you very much Grandpa, and I am so happy that you had a chance to meet your Great Grandson.

Megan took this shot while we were driving to the funeral. It was a quiet, beautiful day.

Megan also took this one. It was taken after the final ceremony ended as we were waiting to go inside a restaurant to have lunch with family. Caleb was sleeping in the back and I was more or less in a hazy state trying to parse everything that I had just experienced.

There is nothing like Halloween in the North End…so I discovered. I came home a bit early from work on the 31st and bumped into Megan and Caleb (she beat me to the pickup) and a bunch of his friends having a snack at a local sandwich shop. They were having a blast drinking from juice boxes and having grilled cheese sandwiches. From there, we tooled around Hanover Street (the primary shopping/eating/strolling street in our neighborhood — the “downtown,” if you will) and trick-or-treated from a ton of local businesses. I was very impressed with the number of businesses that were actively participating.

A few days earlier, there was a neighborhood party for babies and toddlers held at a local rec center. It was somewhat chaotic, but probably only for some of the parents (I’d put myself in that group). Caleb had a blast — click here or on the image above to see more!

I have no idea what we were making in the images below, but Caleb seems like he was having a good time. Whenever I cook, which is less often than I’d like, I have Caleb help me out. At first, I would include him as a way to keep an eye on him or otherwise give him something to do so I could focus on not burning myself or chopping off more than the end of a carrot. I also secretly wanted him to LOVE to cook and figured that it would never be too early to expose him to the ins and outs of simple food prep.

…Enter his wicked garlic peeling skills. If I have cooked for you before, you know that I am somewhat attached to three core ingredients: fresh garlic (minced, not pressed), olive oil, and fresh ground pepper. While the oil and pepper are almost effortless afterthoughts, fresh garlic takes a bit of time to steer it from messy clove to perfectly minced yumminess. I don’t know about you, but to me, the most challenging part of the process is getting the peel off. And yes, I’ve tried a number of methods, but none seem to suit my rather persnickety fancy.

• Garlic presses (when used with clean or non de-skinned garlic) take all of the pleasure out of handling and prepping garlic, plus they are challenging to clean;
• Those little rubber tubes that you roll the clove in work amazingly well, but never seem to want to let go of the garlic skin flakes; and,
• A pressure smack through a chef’s knife, unless done perfectly, invariably crushes the clove too much for my tastes (perhaps I am too touchy about the way I like my garlic).

Caleb’s method, on the other hand, produces perfect results every time. He pulls up a chair, stands on it next to me, and makes sure he removes every last piece of the garlic skin with his tiny fingers. His method is probably the most laborious, but I don’t think I can cook with garlic anymore unless he has done the legwork.

Enough about garlic. The real point of this post was to have a reason to share the photos below, but also to make a case for cooking with your children. I wouldn’t consider myself the best cook in the world, but I think that I can muster up a few good dishes if the need arises. Making sure Caleb has some skill in making himself and others a meal is a good idea in my book.

Also, and perhaps more important than the practical aspects of knowing how to “cook,” I find the process incredibly relaxing and grounding. A monotonous or stressful day at the office seems readily remedied by a bit of cooking. I know preschool will likely be a chore at times as well, and I’m looking forward to watching Caleb come home one day and unwind by assembling with pride the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

This shot is a few weeks old (it was taken just before one of the World Series games) but one of my favorites. I was working on my laptop and Caleb was drawing on his pad of paper. Megan grabbed the decisive moment…

Caleb is entering that cusp-of-serious-conversation phase. Here are a few conversations we had today:

Sometime early this morning…
Me to Megan: “Blah, blah blah, blah-blah. Blah, payroll, blah-blabitty-blah blah.”
Caleb: “What’s ‘payroll’ Daddy?”

..and then sometime this evening…
Me: “Caleb, please put your hat on forward.”
Caleb: “No Daddy, I don’t want my hat forward, I want it backward.”
Me: “Say ‘No thank you.’”
Caleb: “No thank you.”
Me: “Caleb, please put your hat on forward.”
Caleb: “No thank you Daddy, I don’t want to.”
Me: “Why Caleb? Why don’t you want it forward?”
Caleb: “‘Cause I want it backward.”
Me: “Why?”
Caleb: [Seems to ignore me and resorts to playing with his cars...]
Me: “…Why Caleb? Why do you want it backward?”
Caleb: “‘Cause Daddy, I don’t want it forward!”

During our trip to Cape Cod, Caleb and I came across a Korean War memorial and from the depths of my memory, I suddenly remembered that I have a grandfather living somewhere. Rather than unleash a rather unpleasant stream of details, I’ll give you the high-level info. (Click on the photo for a slide show.)

My grandfather (my only living grandparent) has had Alzheimer’s Disease for a very long time. As a result, perhaps, as I was growing up, not only did my family not see him much (we were in California and despite a stint living with my family, he resided mainly on the East Coast) but we didn’t talk about him that much either. In short, little of my life for the past 15-20 years has involved the presence of my grandfather.

(As an aside, this definitely disturbs me. It is astonishing how someone as important as a grandparent can be forgotten over the years.)

After a few days of legwork contacting relatives as well as my parents, I finally found out where my grandfather is located. It turns out he is in a specialized home near White Plains, NY, about an hour from where we had been just weekends before. It took a few minutes to decide whether or not to book a room nearby for later that evening, or starting the next day. I opted for the former and after rounding up Caleb, Megan, and our dog Nadine, we were off to see my grandfather.

At the expense of being too vague, I’ll eliminate the bulk of the details of the trip. Quite frankly, though it might appear that I am comfortable laying out a full set of details about what my family and I experience, there are some things, quite a few perhaps, that are simply too personal to write about. A visit with a dying man I haven’t seen, spoken to, or heard much about since I was an adolescent, certainly falls into that camp.

I will say, however, that as hard as it was, I am very glad we made the trip. Caleb enjoyed meeting his great grandfather, Megan enjoyed meeting him as well, and I think he very much enjoyed having a fresh face stop by for a change.

And yes, we will be back soon.

When we stop and think about it, Caleb has been to a lot of places for a two-year-old. So far he has been to 15 states, and we have a few more trips in the coming months planned including a relaxing vacation in Mexico. I know that the common perception about traveling with young children is that it is a waste as they are unlikely to remember things, but I can confidently say that whether he remembers the trips or not, they are very powerful events for him. Each time we travel, he seems to have jumped months ahead by the time we get home. It’s almost as if when we leave for a trip with him he was bogged down in monotony, but by the time we return home he becomes energized and ready to grab life by the horns again.

If you want to see where Caleb has been, click on the map below for a larger image.