It is hard to believe that two years have passed since our son’s birth, but passed they have. I don’t think that we’ll ever look back on the time that has come on and gone as having moved too slow. If anything, I expect the moments to become even more fleeting, and perhaps more fuzzy an distant as we make ever more feeble attempts to reminisce. I imagine that we simply have to increase our resolve to live every moment to the fullest, and move forward with giant smiles on our faces and in our hearts.

You have made the past two years an absolute pleasure, Caleb. We can’t wait to spend this next one, and all the years thereafter, exploring, learning, and just having fun with you. We love you very, very much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

- Your Daddy

I put him down for a nap late this morning, and tooled around the house doing some work while I waited for him to wake up. I still haven’t figured out what happened, but I must have been in some sort of time warp as he woke up a few years older than he was when he conked out this morning.

I was just about to take a shower and then wake him up when I heard him trying to open his bedroom door. I went to say hello and received the most serious “look” from him after I cracked the door a bit. He was tired looking, but also seemed to be parsing 10 different things while he gave me a once-over. A bit later, I was in the kitchen making us lunch and blurted out to him to ’stop making noise’ (he was messing around in the living room making a general commotion). He came into the kitchen, looked up at me, furrowed his eyebrows, and said, “I was singing.” I didn’t understand him at first but then he said it again.

To say I felt like a punk is an understatement. I so readily ask him to quiet down without bothering to figure out what he is doing, which is a personality trait that is as rude as it is selfish, that I am sure that I have made a similar mistake a hundred times over. I immediately squatted down and apologized, asking him to sing some more. He started again and my heart sank, “Daddy-daddy-daddy…” It was both beautiful and convicting.

Sheesh.

Enough with the sap, now on to his lunch fare. I made us a sandwich that he was quite unlikely to try, let alone eat: Romaine, cucumbers, tomatoes, mozzarella, fresh pepper, and a little mayo, all on a dark German wheat bread (slightly toasted, of course, to make the cheese ever so soft), with a helping of carrot sticks on the side. I think it is a fantastic lunch and was quite looking forward to eating it all after Caleb was sure to not even try a bite.

He ate the whole thing! Not just the cheese portions that were protruding outside of the bread, and not the pieces he pretended to eat (and then spit out with a very dramatic fake gag), but the whole thing. He even ate all of his carrots!

…I think I am going to make him take a late morning nap every Friday…

If you are looking for a great present for your toddler, look no further than giant wall maps. Megan picked up a 3-pack at Costco which contained a US state map, a map of North America, and a map of the world. Each is just a bit taller than Caleb and visually stimulating enough to keep him entertained.

We tacked all three up on the walls of his room and have been teaching him the names of each state off and on. He has a pretty good grasp of locations that have a personal twist (e.g. where he was born, where he lives and has lived, the places we have traveled together, etc.) so we’ve been building off of that dynamic. The film below was take-1,000 in my attempt to get him to prove that he can correctly point out San Luis Obispo (where he was born) and Boston (where we live now) in one sitting. It is pretty fun watching him try to focus on the map when all he really wants to do is put his finger in the camera lens and rip all of my ties off of the door.

(And why, you ask, are my ties hanging on the door of his room? One part space-limitation and one part Daddy/Son bonding. Caleb’s play room used to be Megan and my room — we moved into the other bedroom as soon as Spring descended on Boston — and I opted to leave my ties in place as they were on the only tie rack in the apartment. In addition, Caleb and I share a closet and drawers. No, we are not complete saps — he and I don’t have many clothes so it works from a practical standpoint — but we have always kept our clothes in the same place and saw no reason to break the trend. It’s the little things I suppose…)

Caleb turns two in a few weeks and is already a budding soccer star. We haven’t had a chance to kick the ball around much recently but this morning spent an hour or so kicking and dribbling around the North End. We broke the morning up with a trip to the playground in between soccer sessions so I think Caleb was a bit tired toward the end. Regardless, he handled himself like a champ and dribbled the ball all the way home (Gassie to Old North Church)!

Hot on the heels of my previous character post, I have compiled some of my favorite quotes on the subject. Funny how the men and women below can get a point across with just a few words while it takes me a half a page to say something that barely comes close to the same impact…

• Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln
• Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose. - Evan Esar
• Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. - Goethe
• Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. - Sam Ewing
• Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. - Japanese Proverb
• When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. - Confucius
• By constant self-discipline and self-control you can develop greatness of character. - Grenville Kleiser
• Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self respect springs. - Joan Didion
• Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. - Elmer G. Letterman
• The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back. - Abigail van Buren
• Without an acquaintance with the rules of propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established. - Confucius
• A man’s character is his fate. - Heraclitus
• You can tell the character of every man when you see how he receives praise. - Seneca
• The character of a man is known from his conversations. - Menander
• People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Strong feelings do not necessarily make a strong character. The strength of a man is to be measured by the power of the feelings he subdues not by the power of those which subdue him. - William Carleton
• The character of every act depends upon the circumstances in which it is done. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
• Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln
• Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller
• People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. - Eleanor Roosevelt
• Character is higher than intellect… A great soul will be strong to live, as well as to think. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Character is what God and the angels know of us; reputation is what men and women think of us. - Horace Mann
• Character is what you are in the dark. - American Proverb
• Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones. - Phillips Brooks
• Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking. - H. Jackson Browne
• Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. - Albert Einstein
• Firmness of purpose is one of the most necessary sinews of character, and one of the best instruments of success. Without it genius wastes its efforts in a maze of inconsistencies. - Philip Dormer Chesterfield
• The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character. - The Buddha

The past few weeks I have been working my way through a few interesting business/life books and, as a result, find myself constantly thinking about Character. I haven’t completely figured out why my mind seems to be obsessing over this personal trait yet, but I imagine it has a lot to do with either the presence, or distinct lack, of character as a running theme throughout each of the books.

Rather than fiddle with where my character-nag is coming from, let’s call it an extremely important aspect of what defines an individual and move forward…

So what is character and why does it matter in relation to raising kids? Let’s start with a few definitions of the word as it pertains to an individual:

• “Quality: a characteristic property that defines the apparent individual nature of something”
• “The inherent complex of attributes that determine a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions”
• “The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing”
• “Moral or ethical quality”
• “Qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity”
• “Reputation”

…nothing heavy there, just a few light and casual definitions…

If you are like me, you look at the above list of definitions, get a positive jolt from meandering through them (who wouldn’t sit up more straight and with increased purpose and confidence when reading words such as honesty, courage and integrity?), and then abruptly find your eyebrows furrowed as you realize that as high of a standard you may have for your own character, you probably have the feeling that you might be falling just shy of your ambition.

I would imagine like to think that everyone strives to conduct themselves with honesty and integrity, including myself, but I am not sure how many people actually think they achieve such goals, let alone actually do so consistently over the course of their lives. Strong character takes work — a lot of it. It takes persistence, strength, humility, kindness, wisdom, firm and just morals, and a heck of a lot of other things that sound so overwhelmingly good.

So, if it takes so much work, and requires such consistency and perfection, why bother trying to have any kind of character at all? Why not just be a selfish poopie blob with no cares? Cut a few corners, tell a few white lies, consider only your own feelings and needs… Get Yours. Right?

Not a chance. Not when it is just you in the world, and the thought should never enter your mind if you are a parent. There are few things of greater importance when you are a parent than striving for strong, if not perfect character. I’m a bit of a stickler and expect all individuals (children or not, young or old, married or single, etc.) to strive for a strong character, but am also humbled by the fact that I can’t expect things of others that I fail to achieve.

Therein lies the key. If you are a parent, and you agree that developing character in your children is not just important, but critical to who they are and who they will become, then you have a responsibility to take a long hard look at your own actions and motives every day. Character development in your children begins and ends with you as a parent.

Teachers, friends, TV, society, etc. can all have an impact on your child, but only relative to the strength of your guidance and presence in your child’s life as a role model. What’s interesting, and perhaps a little disturbing, is that you don’t really have to do anything at all to get your children to look up to you — they look up to you until you give them enough reasons not to.

In other words, you are given a lot of credibility and power as a parent the moment your child comes into the world (parse that as birth or conception — I prefer and choose the latter). You can either strive to be and become the strongest role model in their lives, or through a series of significant missteps, or complete lack of effort, be subjugated to a lesser role model status by your child below Barney, Grand Theft Auto, Mr. Higglebottom the soccer coach, their friends, etc. Whatever influences are at the top of that list will be where your child looks to for guidance regarding character. Don’t be surprised by who they become if they are not looking to you for those answers.

This isn’t another Parkour clip — it’s one part workout, one part silliness, and one part Irish dancing.

I think I am supposed to be discouraging when my son does something dangerous, but at the same time, there is something fascinating about his lack of fear, and what I would say is some pretty sweet agility for a one-year old. There is also a very large part of me that wants him to learn how to fall (read: safely) now, while he can’t climb so high and isn’t so bold, rather then when he is 6 and trying to jump off some roof without breaking a leg.

Enter Caleb’s budding Parkour skills. The video below is more for the sake of humor, but Caleb seems to be developing a fondness for some of the sport’s core tenants (disciplines?). Primarily, he doesn’t like to take the path the rest of the world travels. If there is a wall running along a sidewalk, he pulls us over to climb and walk on top of it. If, with Caleb perched on my shoulders, we are in a park walking along a path with a curb separating it from the grass, Caleb will insist that I walk along the length of the curb, and over any obstacle that comes our way. Bored with the jungle-gym at the playground yesterday, he entertained himself by climbing up, around, and over one of the benches.

Perhaps it is time to take him on a training trip to Lisses…

How could I forget these?:

No.

NO!

Stop whining!

There is a period of time in every parent-child relationship (say, possibly anytime when the child is between six weeks old and 65 years old) where the latter discovers the pleasure of repeating everything the former says. Note that it appears, at least with Caleb, that there is little discretion on the child’s part about what they choose to pick up and repeat, no matter how inappropriate. …so be sure to think four, five or ten times about what you want your child to run around the room wailing for the rest of the day before you open your mouth.

Here are a few of Caleb’s favorite words and phrases to repeat:

Shhhhhhhhhh!

Don’t do that.

Hey, hey, HEY!

StiiiiIIIIIiiNky pooopIEs…

Quiet please.

Sit Nadine SIT!

Stop that!

No Nadine! No!

Stinky poOOOoopies…..