Those of you who know me well know that I tend to have fairly strong feelings about money, investing, debt, and all other finance-related subjects. Misconceptions abound but I think on the whole, “financially conservative” would be a fair label that encompasses my approach (at least from my perspective…).

So, naturally, the topics of money, Caleb, and financial responsibility have come up many times between Megan and I since Caleb came into our lives — indeed, even as far back as during the pre-ultrasound days. Thankfully, and perhaps miraculously (per the track record of most couples), Megan and I are basically on the same page about how to introduce money and responsibility into Caleb’s life. We’ve discussed many times the various options from an allowance, money for chores, no money at all (he would only get what he earns), money for specific needs, and many other options.

I don’t think we have yet firmly determined what option or combination of options we prefer to try with Caleb, but we have come to an agreement that financial intelligence, responsibility and education are extremely important. And, for better or worse, the sooner the better…

Without going on too much of a rant, it amazes me how little financial education most kids receive. Why is it that saving is a foreign concept to most 20-year olds, and most people consider it healthy to use a credit card as a convenient mechanism for, “buy it now, pay for it later?” What about investing? Saving for retirement? The notion of compound interest? Opportunity cost? Return on investment? Risk levels and what investment options are accordingly appropriate? Bonds? And on, and on, and on…

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been actively involving Caleb in our regular daily “commerce” whether that involves purchasing food at a grocery store, or consolidating loose change. There are still many subjects that are far too detailed to broach at the moment (for instance, how many people really know the true definition of money? Hint: It’s not just the currency you might put in your wallet…), but there are also a fair number that can and should be taught, practiced, stressed, and explored at his age (just shy of 3 years old).

The first is the concept of buying things. If you think about “goods” from the perspective of a 2-year old, why wouldn’t the refrigerator magically always be stocked with food? Absent exposure to the reality of shopping for food, paying for it, and restocking the shelves of the refrigerator, a 2-year old has little reason to believe otherwise. Accordingly, the exercise of shopping (selecting a store, picking out goods, and then exchanging “money” for those goods) is an excellent first step. Things do not just appear — we have to find resources, select them, and exchange something of value to take them into our posession.

Caleb is regularly by my side picking out groceries and paying for them (I more or less always let him hand over the cash or a credit card [yes, we use credit cards, and heavily, but never carry a balance. If the interest is there, sometime I'll broach the subject of arbitrage, credit, healthy leveraging of "float," and how credit cards and other short-term debt instruments are actually phenomenal tools for those with their eyes open and finances in order.]). When we are missing something at home, apple juice, for instance, Caleb will declare that we need to go to the store and buy some more. Excellent — lesson 1 accomplished.

But now we have to deal with the more abstract concepts: what is money, where does it come from, how do we obtain it, what happens when it runs out, and what is its value? Sweet. Those are some pretty meaty concepts for a 2-year old (and again, at least from my perspective, evidently most 20-year olds).

The other night Caleb started talking about sharing with his friends “Mommy and Daddy’s money.” While this is a fairly innocent extension of the concept of sharing possessions with friends, I saw it as an excellent opportunity to start imbuing on Caleb the differences between “money” and toys, and why sharing the former is a bit more multi-layered than sharing the latter.

He and I had a short conversation about how Mommy and Daddy’s money was not for him to share and that it came into our possession as a result of the two of us working and earning wages and that we use it to pay for our house, our food, and a few other concrete items. He seemed to be staying with me so I told him that if he wanted to share money with his friends that he would have to earn his own, and to do so he would have to do a job of some kind. (Here’s where methodology, intent, teaching styles and so many other factors get muddled. Just bear with me — I know this is not the perfect approach though I will say that based on how Caleb internalizes things, I think it is absolutely the right approach for him.)

He seemed to quickly grasp the concept that if he wanted his own money he would have to earn it through some type of job. He did at one point suggest that he could borrow our money and I quickly squashed that idea with a very firm, “Mommy and Daddy do not borrow money Caleb, we only buy things if we have enough money and always try and save as much money as possible.” (Truthfully, we do borrow for specific items but are again very conservative about debt. We’ll only borrow for things like an education or a home, and always with the goal of obtaining the best rate and paying off the debt as quickly as possible. And technically, using a credit card, even when you never carry a balance, is also “borrowing” but again that gets into arbitrage, float, etc.)

So, the concept of earning money was broached and Caleb was ready to grab it by the horns. Megan and I let it sit for a day and discussed privately what kind of jobs we could give him and how much was reasonable for him to earn as a result. We agreed that we pretty firmly did not want to compensate him monetarily for “chores” or those tasks which he should reasonably be expected to complete as a normal responsibility (e.g. cleaning his room, putting things away that he uses in the house, etc.). But realistically, how many tasks are there that are not chore-based that you can give a 2-year old?

After discussing options for a while, we settled on giving him the job of feeding our dog Nadine. Megan noted that he is already pretty good at it (doesn’t make a mess, more or less gives her the right amount of food, can open and close the bag himself, etc.). Moreover, it is a task that can only be done twice a day, must always be completed, and needs to be done with relative care. Plus, he loves Nadine so it is a good choice regardless.

As an aside, one of the things I like most about it is that he can ONLY do the job twice a day, so his earnings are limited. When I was 5, my parents decided to pay me to pick up sticks in our yard. The pay rate was based on the number of sticks I picked up and not tied to any other metric. So I did what any other enterprising 5-year old would do. I gathered all of the biggest sticks I could find, plopped myself on our front porch, and quickly broke them down into hundreds of small twigs. Needless to say I made some pretty good money in those 10 minutes. …and my Dad, his wallet considerably lighter, was stuck picking up the sticks I left remaining in the yard…

While I want to encourage the same out-of-of-the-box thinking in Caleb, I want it to come healthfully and through a desire to be more strategic about his finances. At this point, as he is just now starting to dabble with the responsibility, I don’t want to move him along too quickly. And in watching him spend his earnings, I think the caution is entirely warranted…

After two days of feeding Nadine, Caleb amassed 40¢! We decided to pay him a dime each time, choosing the rate to ensure that he would make enough in a short enough time to actually be able to spend it (and thus further cement the concept of earning and spending, and hopefully thereafter, saving) but not so much that he would feel as if the task was easy (e.g. “I’ll just feed Nadine one time and now I can buy whatever I want”).

I put the 4 dimes he had earned into a zip-lock bag and took him to the neighborhood store. I told him that it was his money and he could buy whatever he wanted with it (we’ll eventually need to set boundaries, but for the moment, I tried to make the experience fun and not overly complex so as to maintain his interest level). Unfortunately, there is not much one can purchase at a store for 40¢, and most of it is laden with high fructose corn syrup and obscenely name-contorted chemicals. Nonetheless, after scouring the store for something healthful in the sub $1.00 range, I took a deep breath, put my strict rules about sugar to the side, and guided him to the bins of lollipops, mints, and peanut butter/chocolate treats (15¢, 10¢, and 10¢ per unit each, respectively).

To his credit, when we first arrived in the store Caleb went straight for a bottle of water, but unfortunately would have had to feed Nadine another 10 times to be able to buy one. That said, it was a great opportunity to teach him that even though he had money, his purchasing power was limited. So after explaining that concept and scanning the shelves some more, I resigned myself to showing him the candy bins in the front, as mentioned above. We discussed asking the clerk how much everything cost, which Caleb handled like a champ. After asking how much a lollipop cost, he said “WOOOOW!” when offered the reply of 15¢.

Caleb and I discussed things for a few moments playing out what combination of treats he could buy with 40¢, and upon my guidance, he settled for one of each to the tune of 35¢. He handed over his earnings and received 5¢ back (which prompted another “WOOOOOW!”). Beaming, he carried his goods and change back home and went straight to Megan to proudly relay the experience.

As expected, and against my very uptight and normally firm notions about sugar (especially sugar in the evening), he wolfed down all three of his sweets. As was his right — he earned it.

This is not my normal fare for this blog, but I couldn’t resist… Check out this snippet from an article in the New York Times today:

As banks grow tighter with their dollars in a period of uncertainty, families are running up against credit limits, forcing many to live within their incomes.

Who would have thought that apparently living within one’s income was such a novel concept?

Caleb, if there is any one tidbit I would hope to distill the topic of personal finance down into, it would be to live within your means (and implicitly, I hope, to intelligently save the remainder).

Satiated from our breakfast and soccer jaunt, Caleb and I came back home and looked for the next morning activity to undertake before his nap. I suggested cleaning the house and taking an early nap and he suggested baseball. …so baseball it was.

The only problem with baseball is that at the moment, Caleb quickly tires of my horrid pitching, so we typically play T-Ball instead with me holding a paper towel roll as a T. Getting a sudden spark of inspiration, I decided it was time that we make him a permanent T (perhaps it was the “bats” — water bottles, dog bones, plastic celery stalks, and anything else remotely cylindrical — flying by my face at the teetering ball that made me look for a more static solution).

Armed with a mass of tape, some boxes, and the trusty paper towel roll, I am proud to say we concocted a pretty useful T. Click on the photo, or here, to see how we made it, and then check out the movie below to see it in action!

Before he made it to the sauté stage, Caleb had to peel and mince all of that garlic. Check out the rocking action he uses with the knife…

Caleb loves to “cook” now and is actually a really big help. I always give him cloves of garlic to peel and he has recently started to sharpen his mincing skills (let’s hear it Poftak — yet again I forgot the terms). We were making quesadillas from scratch (just the dough for the tortillas, I suppose) and I gave him 5 cloves to attend to. What goes better with quesadillas than freshly minced garlic?

On the left: Daddy’s Backpack. On the right: Caleb’s Backpack. After a lot of searching, I bought the latter earlier this afternoon as my main Christmas gift to Caleb. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that Caleb and I like to roam around Boston, or wherever else we are, having “adventures.” Mention to him that tomorrow is “Daddy Day” and ask him what he wants to do, and he’ll respond emphatically, “Have an adventure!”

Since we always load my red backpack (which he and I picked out together some months ago) with supplies before we head out the door for our adventures, he has built a strong connection to the backpack and having fun with me. If we are having a lazy afternoon, sometimes he’ll drag the backpack over to me and ask if I want to go outside and have an adventure. It is very cute and makes me very happy.

So, when thinking about what gift I could give him for Christmas, I decided it was time to get him his own backpack. I’ve been noodling on the idea for many weeks and tried a woman’s hydration pack on him during our trip to Vermont last month. The pack was the perfect overall size — the base of the pack rested perfectly at his hips, and it was narrow enough overall to appear to distribute weight well. Wanting to get him a functional pack, rather than simply one he’d “play” with, I became determined to find one that would fit and have everything he might want.

The one I settled on is from REI (just like my red one) and is specifically designed for kids. I am sure it is meant for a child a bit older than Caleb, but it is hard to discount that he is tall enough for the pack to fit him perfectly. I tried it on him in the store and loaded it up with a one-pound weight, and then later with a five-pound weight. He handled the latter like a champ, and since he’d probably never have more than a pound or two (some raisins, a few carrot sticks, a toy car, his sunglasses, maybe a sandwich, and possibly a smidgen of water) in the pack until he is bigger, I decided that we had finally found our pack.

As a plus it has a hydration bladder that rests inside the main compartment, though I think we’ll only fill it up with a small amount of water given the amount of weight it added when we tried it out at full capacity tonight.

At any rate, I really like to hem and haw over the gifts I give, even if it means that I don’t get someone something because I haven’t found or devised the right “thing.” I am very happy with the backpack and plan to stuff it with a few other special gifts as well that I know Caleb will appreciate.

I have no idea what we were making in the images below, but Caleb seems like he was having a good time. Whenever I cook, which is less often than I’d like, I have Caleb help me out. At first, I would include him as a way to keep an eye on him or otherwise give him something to do so I could focus on not burning myself or chopping off more than the end of a carrot. I also secretly wanted him to LOVE to cook and figured that it would never be too early to expose him to the ins and outs of simple food prep.

…Enter his wicked garlic peeling skills. If I have cooked for you before, you know that I am somewhat attached to three core ingredients: fresh garlic (minced, not pressed), olive oil, and fresh ground pepper. While the oil and pepper are almost effortless afterthoughts, fresh garlic takes a bit of time to steer it from messy clove to perfectly minced yumminess. I don’t know about you, but to me, the most challenging part of the process is getting the peel off. And yes, I’ve tried a number of methods, but none seem to suit my rather persnickety fancy.

• Garlic presses (when used with clean or non de-skinned garlic) take all of the pleasure out of handling and prepping garlic, plus they are challenging to clean;
• Those little rubber tubes that you roll the clove in work amazingly well, but never seem to want to let go of the garlic skin flakes; and,
• A pressure smack through a chef’s knife, unless done perfectly, invariably crushes the clove too much for my tastes (perhaps I am too touchy about the way I like my garlic).

Caleb’s method, on the other hand, produces perfect results every time. He pulls up a chair, stands on it next to me, and makes sure he removes every last piece of the garlic skin with his tiny fingers. His method is probably the most laborious, but I don’t think I can cook with garlic anymore unless he has done the legwork.

Enough about garlic. The real point of this post was to have a reason to share the photos below, but also to make a case for cooking with your children. I wouldn’t consider myself the best cook in the world, but I think that I can muster up a few good dishes if the need arises. Making sure Caleb has some skill in making himself and others a meal is a good idea in my book.

Also, and perhaps more important than the practical aspects of knowing how to “cook,” I find the process incredibly relaxing and grounding. A monotonous or stressful day at the office seems readily remedied by a bit of cooking. I know preschool will likely be a chore at times as well, and I’m looking forward to watching Caleb come home one day and unwind by assembling with pride the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Whew! It seems as if Caleb and I haven’t had a real Daddy Day in months. Indeed, we’ve been out of town so much lately, I think today is the first day we have had to just hang out in some time. Coupled with the fact that our computer resources are slim (my ancient laptop finally decided to stop working), our posts have simply lagged. Here’s a quick shot of what we’ve been up to since our early October trip to New York:

• A few trips to Connecticut to visit Nonna and Bappa (what Caleb calls my mother and father, respectively), including a very sad trip to attend my grandfather’s funeral (in New York, about an hour from my parents), another return trip to the cemetery with his youngest daughter a week later, and a quick trip the day after Thanksgiving;
• Semi-hosting Grandma and GrandpaGrandpa (what Caleb calls Megan’s mother and father, respectively) during their trip to Boston this Thanksgiving;
• A stop in Albany, NY (our Connecticut trip to attend my grandfather’s funeral came just a few days before a planned trip to Montréal and Vermont — our stop in Albany bridged the two); and,
• A few days in Montréal, Canada, and a few days in Stowe and Burlington, Vermont (for Megan and my 5-year wedding anniversary — Caleb had a blast!)

…like I said…Whew! All of the trips were car trips, so kudos to Caleb for handling the long rides like a champ. I am not sure what we will do for the Christmas holidays, but for now we don’t have anything major planned until February. So, perhaps we can capitalize on the non-travel time and make a few posts…

Sweet. I’m a stickler for reading the terms and conditions of a contract, but tend to gloss over any warning label on a toy. Especially toys that are small and cute, like, say, a wooden ambulance… Who would think that a wooden ambulance, the very symbol of emergency care, modern medicine and safety, would pose a threat to a child?

Take a moment and click on the photo to the right. We picked up a handful of similar wooden toys at Target last week and handed them out in goodie bags during Caleb’s birthday. (And yes, even though this post is a bit tongue-in-cheek, we are letting the parents of the kids who took a goodie bag home know that they might want to toss the toys.)

Ahhhhh, the sweet smells of the subway.

There is nothing quite like being packed into a skittish subway car, standing-room only, on a hot July afternoon. Nothing, that is, aside from being in that situation holding your toddler with one arm while holding on to a pole with another, and realizing that it might not have been the best idea to feed him so many dried apricots that morning…

Let’s just say there are just a few places I’d rather be with a gassy toddler than negative 5 inches from 30 other hot and grumpy people.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, I highly recommend focusing on the heat, maintaining your balance, or perhaps even the momentary relief from having only BO to inflame the more sensitive portions of your sinus cavity.