Ahhhhh, the sweet smells of the subway.

There is nothing quite like being packed into a skittish subway car, standing-room only, on a hot July afternoon. Nothing, that is, aside from being in that situation holding your toddler with one arm while holding on to a pole with another, and realizing that it might not have been the best idea to feed him so many dried apricots that morning…

Let’s just say there are just a few places I’d rather be with a gassy toddler than negative 5 inches from 30 other hot and grumpy people.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, I highly recommend focusing on the heat, maintaining your balance, or perhaps even the momentary relief from having only BO to inflame the more sensitive portions of your sinus cavity.

If you happen to be traveling in a city with a subway or train system, I highly recommend testing it out for kid-friendliness. Boston, in my opinion, is quite kid-friendly. …but let me clarify that. (The photo to the right is of Caleb and me riding the Green Line on our way to a Red Sox game.)

In some cities (cough…Washington D.C. …cough!) my experience (say, hypothetically, of at least 15 rides over four days) is that no matter how much you appear to be in need of a seat to manage to hold your child more safely whilst riding, nobody, and I really mean nobody, will bother to offer you a spot. Note that this seems to apply as much as after 15 minutes straight of standing up and holding your 30+ pound child with one hand while hanging on to a pole with the other, as it does the moment you get on the train. Further note that it seems that there is little difference if I happen to be holding Caleb or if your wife happens to be holding Caleb.

…not in Boston though. I would guess that Caleb and I have ridden the subway in Boston together somewhere around 50 times by now. In every instance, save those times when we were immediately able to grab a seat, someone offered their seat to us. Every. Single. Time.

…and I think people told us that Boston-folks were not nice before we moved out here. Simply ridiculous.

So, even though I am routinely offered a seat when I get on the subway, naturally (perhaps out of stubbornness or some silly male thing) I always decline. In other words, Caleb and I have mastered the art of subway riding despite the massive burning feeling in the “holding” arm. In a way, I’d rather be adept at standing the whole time and have the option of sitting, than get stuck in a place (cough… Washington D.C. …cough!) where it is a necessity but lack the experience.

To manage the jolts, bumps, tight space, and inevitable muscle burn, I’ve developed a few tricks.

• Set a good example — if you happen to have a seat, offer it to anyone that is in greater need of it than you.
• As soon as you get on, make a B-line for the spot you intend to occupy. In other words, don’t dawdle — the person driving the train will probably try to knock everyone over every single time they leave a station.
• If you have a choice between a vertical pole that you can hold anywhere near shoulder height, or an overhead bar, go with the vertical one. The other passengers will enjoy a lesser view of your armpit, and you’ll find it easier to maintain your balance.
• Don’t put your child down unless they are old enough to legally vote. In all seriousness, depending on how crowded the train is, sometimes it is easier and more efficient to hold them the whole time, especially if you are only going a few stops.
• Sit when you can.
• If you are in a standing one-arm hold mode, switch arms only when the train is stopped, the doors are open, and you are certain the driver/conductor is not going to slam on the breaks or suddenly speed up, no matter how badly your muscles burn.
• Enjoy yourself. Some people hate the subway — I say $1.70 to go from here all the way over there (I think the same fare would get you only 6 or so stops in Washington D.C.’s metro) is pretty sweet.
• Be smart. Don’t take the subway at 1am through a less than pleasant part of town. (That said, I’ve been through some hairy parts of New York City’s subway system very late at night and have always felt pretty safe, however, I was with a few friends and not alone with my 2-year old.)